What if toothbrushes were sold like proprietary ERP software?

Based on an IRC conversation by Derek Neighbors and Jason Cater of GNU Enterprise (www.gnuenterprise.org).


1. Instead of 1.00 for a brush that lasts a year, you pay 200 for a toothbrush license. Brushing your teeth saves on average 2 cavities a year, and cavities cost 800 to fill - so 200 for a brush that saves you 1600 is an INCREDIBLE deal.

2. Then the 500 for the toothpaste contract - that's where the REAL value is. I mean, for 700 you will have your money back in less than 6 months - how incredible is that?

3. The vendor just makes sure his toothpaste is incompatiable with other vendors' brushes, so you are locked into that toothpaste contract - or forced to buy a new brush.

4. The toothbrushes require their own special "holder" (custom installed, of course). You can't re-use your existing holders. I know the slots are the same size; but ours is calibrated especially for our toothbrushes. Also, who's to say your holder can withstand the extra load? Crest's holders just dont 'scale' well - I mean a family of 5 or 6 and you're screwed.

5. Let's not forget "user training" - and floss. That's high performance dental care - you pay top dollar for floss. One member of the family will need to be flown to our "flossing seminar" BUT it's in Miami this year - so what member wouldn't mind going to Miami?

6. For only 4,500, I can get Crest 'Reach' Toothbrush Certified - with that certificate I am like 80% less likely to have gingivitis which is a huge value - peridontial disease is SO costly.

7. The toothbrush vendor regularly is able to sell brush, paste and floss to folks with dentures. Of course, the vendor has a 20% stake in the Denture company "to spread his risk".


(and be thankful that I spared you the "What if toilet paper was sold like proprietary ERP software?" debate...)

Oh, and all toothbrush-related trademarks duly acknowledged.